COdependence

Codependency or codependence is a tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one's relationships and quality of life. It also often involves putting one's needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. [1] Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including in families, at work, in friendships, and also in romantic, peer or community relationships.[1] Codependency may also be characterized by denial, low self-esteem, excessive compliance, and/or control patterns.[1].

Denial patterns:
I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.

Low self-esteem patterns:
I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."
I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.

Compliance patterns:
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
I accept sex when I want love.

Control patterns:
I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel.
I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.

Do I have all of the characteristics outlined above? NO!

Am I codependent? Yes. Can I overcome this? Yes. Is it going to be easy? NO!

I do not like that I am Codependent and have many of the characteristics outlined above. I do not have the control characteristics as much but I do have some of them. I deal daily with this. I sometimes am so overwhelmed with it that my anxiety sky rockets so high that all I can do is cry. I want to be free of it and I know that the only way to overcome it is to put it in the Lord's hands. Not literally. I know I have to do my part. Study the scriptures, pray, serve and have faith that the Lord is there for me. Every step of the way. I have HOPE..
In Mosiah 4:9 it says: "Believe in God, believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprhend all the things which the lord can comprehend."
There are many things that I do not comprehend. But I BELIEVE in God. I do falter and my doubts creep in but I know that the Lord has compassion upon me and patience toward my imperfections. In Mark 9:24 it says"Straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." Finally, this is a journey for me...a trial...a test. I can only do so much and I can only go so far on my own....the Lord and his Grace will make up the rest. In Hebrew 4:16 "Let us....come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need"